Symbolic Self

Elizabeth O’Toole

Professor Rehm

Advanced Drawing

27 April 2020

Symbolic Self: Still Waters

            Upon initially embarking upon this Symbolic Self assignment, I found myself stumped because as much as I would like to say I know myself, sometimes translating thoughts and ideas to paper can be extremely challenging. And on top of that, the current climate of quarantine life from COVID-19 has left my mind feeling distracted, gloomy, and uninspired. It was the realization and acceptance of these factors which allowed myself the freedom to breakdown and interpret the prompt in a way I felt best represents me, but also in a way that reflects myself at this moment in time. 

            I chose to create images of two colorful bodies in motion using chalk pastels on a natural-tone 20 x 26 in paper. I created these images from live photos of myself which I have used as source imagery in other works as an exploration of my own form. When reflecting upon what a symbolic portrait meant to me, my mind always somehow envisioned the same types of visuals. I could see all my thoughts, memories, interests, frustrations, and feelings swirling around me, despite my expression and body serene. There was always a relationship between myself and an indescribable energy. This is a thread I have explored in several of my other classes and works and a theme in my work to create abstract forms in fluid motion representing myself. Through this piece I show two stills of my body in motion surrounded by energetic waves and twists in different shades of blues and reds. Through this, I aim to express the ways in which so many of my thoughts and feelings are never expressed outwardly, only felt internally. While these bodies move and jump, the world sees only a person moving about, but through the abstract emotive line work, you’ll notice much more tension and energy than meets the eye. Still waters run deep. While I feel this aspect of myself is one that holds true to my identity, I felt this piece also captured a moment in time as my current frustrations and stressors seem to be heightened due to current circumstances. As I have spent the last few weeks looking both at my past and into the future, I cannot help but mourn the lost experiences and opportunities that come with college being cut short, friends I never properly said goodbye to, and the overall tremendous loss of life and devastation during this time in the world. My choice of color and use of blue to develop these figures can be tied to these emotions.

            One artist whose work I was particularly interested in and inspired by was that of artist Kiki Smith. Upon looking at her works in our lecture and seeing the way she created simple compositions using linework and a limited color palette to create feeling, I knew I wanted to capture a similar simplicity to develop emotions in my symbolic self-portrait. Upon conducting further research of her works and those discussed in class, I found a few of her works which were particularly moving which I have attached below.