Since I don't feel fully human during a migraine episode, I wanted to design my pain on an object like the Styrofoam head, which captured this quite well. It appears to be a human figurine, by the nature of it's shape and indentations, but as you look closer, the sickly pale material gives away it's nature as a prop. When shopping for the head, I wanted to make sure that it didn't look brand new, because it would contradict my personal experience (which is what I was attempting to emulate.) I have had this issue for a long time and I thought the only way to do myself some justice was to find an object with it's own visual history. I searched through a nearby flea market and surprisingly found many different sellers with heads of all kinds, decorated in cheap wigs and hats. However, absolutely no one was willing to sell their heads!!! They were either using them as a display or had some kind of personal attachment to them, so I had to keep on searching. Finally, as I was scouring about an old antique store in the Orange circle, I came upon a pile of old Styrofoam display heads with "Not For Sale" stickers on them. An employee at the shop decided to help me out by asking me what exactly I needed, and proceeded to call her manager to see if she could sell me one of the spare heads. I was in luck, and walked away with the head for only 6$ bucks! This was a special part of the process for me because I found something that wasn't perfectly clean and smooth; it had a past life, a narrative, and a little dirt.
The first step I took in modifying the head was gathering materials that would stick (and hold their place) in the head, but also cause the viewer to feel some kind of discomfort. The few objects I had available to me were difficult and too heavy to attach to the head, and since I wanted to map out the pain that I usually feel during an episode, I needed a bigger quantity of items. This is why I used the screws and drill bits, because there are lots of them and they have that rigid, piercing aura. I arranged them in such a way where you can see the routes of pain that pulse and throb throughout my head. I also referred to medical images of where the migraines tend to affect the muscles, vessels, and blood flow.
I was really pleased with the overall placement of the screws, but it still felt like it was lacking in the full experience of a migraine. Since I wanted to show how the migraine was blooming inside my head, I picked up a rose stem with thorns on it and stuck it on to the top of the head. I was inspired by the idea of something that grows naturally from inside the brain, and I drew inspiration from an artist named Travis Bedel. This is some of his work which beautifully intertwines flora with the human corpse.
The finishing touches that I added were the thoughts that (literally) crossed my mind as I experienced the migraine, and the eerie liquid that spills out from the thorn stem at the top of the head. I specifically avoided using the color red because I wanted to keep it clear that the experience is something that occurs from within. If it was red, it would read like dried blood which then completely changes the feeling and possible interpretations of the piece.
Overall, I was really proud of how it came out, and my instinctual decisions along the way. Using this medium was definitely fun and outside of my comfort zone. I am interested in doing a project like this again sometime soon!
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