ADVANCED DRAWING: Symbolic Self Portrait

It was during my freshman year of college that I became obsessed with cacti. I was out on a long walk around Old Town Orange, trying not succumb to what would later become depression, when I passed The Potting Shed. I impulsively decided to go in and left half an hour later with a miniature cactus that I named Finn. You’re not allowed pets in the dorms so this little cactus became more or less my pet and the beginning of my cactus obsession.

When trying to decide what to do for this symbolic self-portrait, I knew for a fact that I didn’t want to simply do a nice realistic rendering of my face. As I scoured Pinterest for creative, abstract self-portraits to hopefully spark some ideas of my own, I came across many drawings and paintings, though realistic and detailed, caught my eye because of their bright color choices. That was the first thing I knew I wanted to incorporate into my self-portrait – irregular bright colors.

Eventually my friend showed me the artist, Boa Pham, who does whimsical illustrations of girls, typically involving flowers and abstracting the hair in some way. After looking through many pieces I essentially decided I wanted to do something with the silhouette of my hair, since I believe my person can be easily read from merely the shape of my face and hair. I also came across the Hippo Campus music video around this time. I absolutely loved the color palettes and whimsicalness of it all (with the pastel pinks and greens in combinations with the black stars and silhouettes). I wanted my piece to be just as imaginative and whimsical as this video.

At this point I had many ideas of the types of styles and colors I wanted to include, but no actual idea of what elements I wanted to use in my portrait.

It was my friend who gave me the idea to do something with a cactus. It was such a simple idea I felt dumb for not thinking of it myself. The second she mentioned this idea, I knew what I wanted to do. For my major, I am required to do a senior thesis animated short film, created entirely by myself. I knew the subject of my thesis was going to be a cactus, so for the past several months I’ve been exploring the different qualities of this plant in search of entertaining story ideas.

One idea I had explored in depth in the past is a story about the reasons cacti are the best of the plants. Though they’re not the prettiest or most welcoming at first glance, they can be. Cacti can bloom pink flowers and bulbs. The prickles are a self-defense mechanism against unwanted predators. They’re easily adaptable to the most adverse climates. They’re very self-sufficient and don’t need too much to survive. I admire many of the traits cacti have and though I know I don’t always possess all of them, I strive to.

At this point, it was decided. I would do a silhouette of my hair with a cactus drawn inside, almost as if it were a pattern on my face. Though pink is one of my least favorite colors, I decided to incorporate it into the color of my hair to reflect the pink flowers that cacti grow. The pink, though very girly, is also very bold, bright, and confident -- qualities I constantly try to have myself.

I then played with several ideas regarding the background. I thought about using the form of my hair to turn it into rocks to bring together the idea of cacti and desert scene. This ultimately sounded like it was pushing the desert idea too much and taking away from the portrait. I knew from the beginning I wanted to do something simple, cropped the image the same way any ordinary portrait would be. Still wanting to tie in ideas of the desert, I continued to look up images of the terrain. I then remembered another one of my favorite things about the desert, -- you can see the stars real well there. I have always loved stars and space, representative of my very hopeful, romantic way in which I view life.

While trying to cut the paper after finishing, I attempted to rip some of the larger chuncks and accidently tore a little much off. As I continued to tear the paper, I began to like the appearance of it more. The desert represented by the stars and the cactus in combination with the ripped paper made me feel as if the piece was tough and had been on some rugged adventure. Like most, adventuring is one of my favorite parts of life, and the ripped border conveyed this perfectly.